Category Archives: Personal

all articles concerning personal growth interest

Quitters Never Win! Whats Makes Folks Just Give Up.

Inspirational, Personal
Photo by: Kal Visuals -Unsplash

By: James Corbin II

More than two months had passed since the beginning of the new year, which is when millions of individuals participated in the subsequent ritual of proclaiming some sort resolution which includes making a significant change that they wish to see come into fruition.  A usual resolution decision entails making a specifc betterment to life style, health, prosperity or new assessments.

Well, in any case, under taking a betterment of change extracts an enormous toll involving effort, energy, and focus, which many individuals just don’t have to give in a rush -rush society which we find ourselves in today. So, quietly our dream of change begins to dissipate into just another attempt at reform and nothing to show for the effort.

The question remains, what happened to the vison of change? Why did you give up and not keep pursuing the difference until it came about? The problem with attempting to undergo your challenge later means that later may never take place. So, you just give up on your dream(s) of change instead. It or not, some steps can be taken to avoid the dilemma of not completing the task.

If you ask a million individuals why they gave up and didn’t pursue their dreams, you would probably have a million different answers, but the fact remains most solutions fall into a slim picking of categories that can be easily examined once identified—then modified and reinstated to gain new momentum into pursuing your goals toward personal betterment.     

 Giving up on something usually begins in mind due to a lack of interest or directly over excerptions. Often when we start these ideas to bring about change, we fail to recognize the time and the energy necessary to bring about a recognizable difference. Also, if we fail to put benchmarks in place, there’s no way actually to measure our success.  Therefore, it appears as if we are in the exact position before we decided to undergo the challenge.

Whatever the reason for quitting, whether from over working, a loss of interest, or attempting to find a less complicated way to continue. The point is, you simply gave up trying to meet your goal, and now that “thing -to -do” will hang over your head slowly wearing down your subconsciousness as a nagging voice in your mind.  Some of the usual reasons for quitting can include the following: 

  • Lack of discipline or focus
  • Unnoticing improvements
  • Not sure on how to move forward aka plateauing
  • No support or absence of a good peer group to keep you on track
  • Self-doubt
  • Lack of momentum

Whichever of the above reasons chosen for quitting it all surmise to one thing, giving up! But, as the saying goes, quitters never win, and winners never quit! The key word is never because how can somebody win if they never complete the task. This why in some cases quitting certain cases quitting should never be an option but instead a last resort until the time is right again to proceed.  The top 3 Reasons why quitting should not be an option consist of the following:  

Reason 1.  Quitting can quickly become a learned behavior.

Our brains operate off a reward-based learning system, which involves a triggering process. This triggering process is a direct result of a survival mechanism instilled in our minds to function with little to no thought.  Once behavior sets in subconsciously, it becomes habit forming and unconsciously viewed as an alternative when difficulties set in. That’s why not completing a difficult task and quitting can become more of a crutch crippling an individual’s success rate weakening the resiliency of the mind.

Reason 2.  Quitting blocks all alterative outcomes and experiences.

Sometimes having a critical eye from the outside can allow some powerful insight that may have been overlooked or went unnoticed. Quitting cuts off insightful experiences that contribute to self-growth and development that can be used in other areas. 

Reason 3. Quitting destroys self-confidence.

                When you are achieving the goal(s) no matter how small they are, reaching goals can become exhilarating and even liberating but none of these things can be experienced when quitting is involved.  Self-confidence is built from winning and applying what you learned correctly. When you stop, you cannot grow from the momentum of success.

 We can use each of these control triggers to help form new habits circumventing the action of not continuing.  A few practical steps to take to when you feel just feel as if you can’t go on or just losing interest are:

  1. Revisit the reason why you choose to take on such goals. We tend to forget our reason for wanting to set out to make a specific change. Complacancy is mental and spiritual quick sand, and it becomes the norm in many cases invoved with giving up. One way of not falling into the trap of being complacient is to revist the reason why you wish to see such a change. For example, go back to the orginal motivations for change and reapeat them each day until they become second nature.  
  • Find a more rewarding way to obtain tangible smaller goals – Gaining momentum is critical to achieving new levels. Recharging the process of personal change consists of baby-steps, instead of big leaps and bounds. The idea is to create a snowball effect of rolling down a hill, gainging more mass and momentum to push through any barriers. Soon the process begins to take a life of its own.  Also, benchmarking auspicious areas when reached and celebrate gains to gain more momentum.   
  • Find a support group or a mentor –  Raeching out to professional mentors who had success doing what you wish to achieve can eliminate a lot of guess work and save a hord of time as well as energy. A good mentor can encourage you to keep going until all objectives are obtained; having someone that completed identical steps can be very assuring. Also, sometimes, just finding someone who’s going through a similar challenge can be very supportive. That’s part of the benefit of finding a support group to work with you during he trial.
  • Learn how to practice patience- My grandmother would say that Rome wasn’t built in a day!” meaning that big things take time to make, so don’t look for something sophisticated to be toatally put in place through overnight.  Paitienece, aswell as persistence, is a verture. In the long run, you will be successful. E.g. The turtle verse the hare fable was an excellent example of this concept at work.

To summarize, the takeaway from this piece is that 80% of winning involves merely showing up. Therefore,  winning or being successful does not include giving up or quitting. The idea is to keep pushng forward until you reach the desired outcome. Allowing the temptation of giving up to seep in only means that you have lost focus or desire to undergo the change you once invisioned. 

Manifesting change requires the correct input of energy as well as dedication.  Most of all, change requires some planning outlining the best path to take when undergoing a super set of tasks. It should also include benchmarks to help identify goals and objectives when reached, and most importantly, a celebration when these objectives have been completed. I genuinely hope these guidelines will keep you on track for success, and giving up or quitting is eliminated from your lexicon.  

Those who fail to plan, plan to fail! Strategies vs Plans vs Tactics

Community, Personal

By: James E Corbin II

Photo by Mesh on Unsplash

In the previous post we outlined S.M.A.R.T goals and objectives, therefore its only right that we overview the terminology used effective in planning. Like in a game of chess, strategy, planning and right tactics is what set a Master Chess player apart from a ordinary player. Besides, what good is it to have a great idea but not know how to execute it!?  A solid plan can easily put the odds in your favor.     

Thoughts and ideas pop into our heads all day and night. Experts estimate that the average human brain has at least 50,000 views a day, which breaks down to an average of 2,100 – 3,000 thoughts an hour, which is incredible to say the least. Also, if you THINK about this, how many of those ideas consisted of beneficial ideas that could help you or the community.

 Even the world, if only you knew how to execute it. Further researching the terminologies to help gain a better understanding of the differences in their meaning and how each is used in the practical planning stages. Understanding these terms will better help to implement an idea more accurately.   Exploring the three concepts; strategy vs. tactic vs. plan is beneficial for a better understanding so each can be correctly utilizing when manifesting.

Let’s begin with the term tactic, which is often used interchangeably with strategy, but they are not the same. Tactics consist of short-term methods used to gain a specific objective, whereas strategies consist of long-term goals to reach an overall plan. Also, known as Initiatives, tactics usually involve best practices to obtain an objective. A good tactic should enhance the overall strategy while having a clear purpose with measurable outcomes.

Tactics can be altered based on the success of your procedure. An excellent example of a tactic would consist of buttering up your boss with his / her favorite items a week or two before you approach him/her about how you’re under-utilized and underpaid. That tactic is called ‘sucking -up.” Humor!

A plan comprises a list of steps that must be taken to achieve a specific goal. It addresses the how, when, and where involved with the execution as well as approach. Plans are essential to achieving success because they demonstrate insightful thoughts toward a specific goal.  

A strategy is a long-term direction toward a particular vision leading to a specific goal.  It is more significant than a plan and can include more than one destination.  It encompasses many possible paths toward a likely outcome. It also incorporates influences and can surmise the end product. Effective strategic planning can be separated into three equal sections; strategic thinking, long range planning, and operational planning.

  • The Strategic section addresses -the overall vison (who, what, why, and how) or a broad perspective as well as reflection
  • The Long-range planning section- includes an in-depth understanding of issues, facts, and figures as well as SWOT (strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, threats) analysis.
  • The operational planning section- involves creating a functional plan with SMART goals and objectives.

The 5 P’s of Strategy:

Strategy can be dissected further into five separate but equal components, according to Mintzberg (1987). He describes the 5 p’s of strategy, which are: Plan, Pattern, Position, Perspective, and Ploy.

Plan-Before implementing any effective action, a well throughout plan is encouraged to be developed.  This plan must include structured strategies and tactics that must be carried out under the program.

Pattern– involves previous strategies that may have been successful or needs more thought and consideration. The idea is to form a systematic pattern in the decision-making process.

Position– It’s imperative to consider how you desire to be observed following the implementation of a plan.

Perspective– The broader perspective must be taken into consideration. It is important to consider how others currently view you, as well as how this view may be shifted either in your favor or not.

Ploy– can be an excellent strategic option. By implementing an unforeseen plan, an individual can electrify their environment, creating the desired outcome to help reach a goal. Ploy should also be considered as a tactic when things are going in an undesired direction.

In closing, a strategy takes into consideration all possible influencing factors, both seen and hidden. It should encompass the entire gamut of possibilities and not just a one ended result. Just remember plans, focus on the how as well as outlining the necessary steps which must be taken to achieve the goal(s).  Tactics, are short term methods used to achieve an objective which in turns attains the set goal(s)

Now that we know the differences in the terms, lets us use them effectively in obtaining success.

Mulder, P. (2018). 5 P’s of Strategy by Henry Mintzberg. Retrieved [02/02/020] from toolshero: https://www.toolshero.com/strategy/5-ps-of-stratege

Mintzberg, H. (1987). The strategy concept I: Five Ps for strategy. California management review, 30(1), 11-24.

New Year’s Resolutions and Goal Setting Theory

Personal

By: James E Corbin II

Photo by Joshua Earle on Unsplash

Here we are, at the start of another new year, ready to continue moving forward in  our life’s journey. The beginning of the new year represents several things for a significant number of people like; the beginning of a new cycle, another do-over, survival of the fittest, hope, and blessings, to name a few. The start of the new year possesses a definite symbolic attribute meaning of new beginning and transformation. That’s why many people say, “out with the old, in with the new!” Then finally, the start of the new year can mean just another full revolution around our G-Class star (For the techy folks).

To me, the new year represents transformation and a new beginning.  I feel blessed to have another opportunity to fulfill my life’s purpose. Therefore, I’m appreciative of seeing another year come and go. I set a lot of goals last year and completed a lot. But I still have a lot more goals I wish to cover this year, so I’m laying out my top strategies for successful goal keeping and hope that it helps someone to manage better their attempt to reach their goals in the process.  Before I give my recipe for successful goal setting, allow me to talk about unsuccessful goal setting and why I didn’t achieve my goal(s).    

In the past, I was just like everyone else attempting to make a big New Year’s resolutions only to see my dreams and aspirations go flat or slowly fade away within the next few weeks. I truly meant well and attempted to keep the recommendations, but it just didn’t pan out that way. Therefore, I failed in the attempt.  Most people like setting New Year’s Resolutions because of the timing of the start of a new cycle. The beginning of the New Year signals a new beginning, a restart period with the advent of an official starter’s pistol going off (New Year’s Eve Firework Celebration) The energy is in the air, all individual is looking for a “ready-set GO! “from the announcer. So, why not ride the energy wave of this new cycle. Right?

Why does it go so wrong? According to U.S. News & World Report, the failure rate for New Year’s resolutions is said to be about 80 percent, and most lose their resolve by mid-February.   A great example of a standard failed decision is to get in a gym and get in shape or lose weight! I’ve made this resolution several times and failed. The idea was to get in the way for the summertime so that I can flex on the beach for the ladies with my pre-shrunk extra-medium t-shirt. The following year I still possessed a “taffy” shaped body similar to a rolled clay man I used to make in early head start. Soon I became disillusioned about setting goals until I learned the art and science of practical goal setting.

First, understand what a resolution is.  By definition, the term resolution (reza’looSH(  )n/: is A firm decision to do or not to do something. By this definition, this means that the person has decided to resolve some issue or something which needs attention before the item becomes more challenging to change. Like my body by Taffy at the time, it needed some serious work.  I had good intentions but couldn’t follow through. The top three reasons why most of us fail at keeping our goals are as follows.

The top four reasons why most resolutions fail.

 1. The decision is too vague. A great example is, you wish to lose weight. Making an ambiguous decision like this is setting yourself up for a near future failure. The problem is that there are no real specifics behind such a promise to change things.

 2. Negative perspective. How you frame something determines what type of mindset or you wish to draw the necessary energy to approach the change you want to make. Positive reframing can provide positive renewable energy instead of emotionally draining harmful sources of motivation. A great example of positive reframing would be the glass half empty or half full. It all depends on the observer’s life’s perspective. Are they optimistic or pessimistic?

3. What’s your “Why” for your under taking this goal? Many of us can draw energy from the so-called haters, but in most cases, it is very taxing and energy draining. Doing something to show up the “haters “in your life can become somewhat of a burden in time. Positive reframing plays a significant helpful role in achieving your goals

4. No estimated time for completion. Most unachieved goals have the common theme of no identified time this goal should reach. So, in many ways, it remains an ongoing process never genuinely attainable, or many have gotten side tracked by other things in its place. Having a realistic completion time is important because it keeps an individual focused on what needs to be promptly done.

The difference between goals and objectives are, a goal is a clear description of a specific destination or a long-term outcome a person or organization wish to achieve, within a year or more. A goal does not describe how to do something but rather how the results, in the end, should be. A goal is a singular, tangible, descriptive statement which is a stretch from the current state of being. 

In comparison, an objective is a measure of the progress that is necessary to reach that destination. It should outline the steps to attain a specific goal. They define the essential actions which must be pursued as well as the particular amount of effort and what time. They are specific, measurable, time-bound, actionable, and realistic.

Now, the question is, what the benefits of using goals to get things accomplished are? According to Minor (2005), there are three core principles involved with goal setting, a). Goals motivate individuals to put forth the effort by setting a task to pursue the goal b). Goals motivate and help keep persisting in the required activities until they help achieve the goal, and c). Goals help drive induvial to stay focused on what they’re trying to make.

There is a whole theory that goes into a practical goal setting. According to Locke and Dr. Gary Latham (1990), “A Theory of Goal Setting and Task Performance,” in which five essential principles were fundamental in practical goal setting. These five practical principles are clarity, challenge, commitment, feedback, and task complexity.

  • Clarity- Be specific, coherent, and intelligible about what you wish to achieve.
  • Challenge-a goal should be challenging to inspire you more, as well as achievable.
  • Commitment- goals must be something which is agreed upon and should agree with what the award once completed should be
  • Feedback-provides a loop to allow for corrections if necessary or get clarity regarding completion of the task
  • Task Complexity- we all up for a good challenge but make something too complicated or daunting, then it will never get completed. The idea is to make sure you comprehend every nuance of the challenge

Locke’s research revealed that for goal setting to work, they need to be; achievable and measurable over time and have a clear specific, and precise outcome.

Setting S.M.A.R.T. (specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, and time-bound) Goals can help you achieve a lot.   

Specific- what needs to be achieved must be concisely described.

  • A good example, I plan to lose weight by eating healthy salads and attending the gym three times a week for 1 hour.
  • A bad example, I want to lose this belly fat.

Measurable- are based on metrics or benchmarks you can use to see are you on track for reaching this goal.

  • A good example is on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday I will work on the upper body for 1.5 hors and on Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday I will work on lower body areas for 1.5 hours
  • Abad example is I plan to workout

Attainable-goals that are attainable are more likely to be achieved. Genuinely being aware of the workload agreed as well as the available resources (time, money, skills) is vital to practical goal setting.

  • A good example, I plan on losing 2.5 pounds per week by eating and working-out daily.
  • I plan on loosing 50lbs soon

Relevant – are the goals you wish to achieve related to real life perspectives.

  • A good example, I plan on reading a chapter a day from the Body Builder’s Bible to help me with my weight loss journey
  • A bad example, I plan to learn computer coding.

Time Bound- this aspect of goal setting will keep you accountable. Being specific with timely results will keep you on track for success

  • A good example, I plan on 8 to 10 pounds. In 8 to 9 weeks, using healthy eating and a strenuous work-out regimen.
  • A bad example, I pan on loosing this weight, soon.

There are some great goal setting tools today offered on many platforms. Some of these tools can be informal such as a hand written diary /journal which helps you to track your progress, as well as listing daily achievements. There are plenty of Apps for your mobile phone to track progress and remind you when certain activities or steps which need to be completed. Then finally join a Mastermind group to keep you focused on the task at hand. Of course, these are only a few tools you can use. Ill is sure to add links below to help you in your goal setting achievement track.

Personally, I try to stay away from New Year’s Resolutions and start from my current position. Of course I begin acting on my goals after I complete an assessment of what I want to achieve.  Of course I came to trust myself in the process of goal setting after learning how to use these goal setting techniques and didn’t need to ride the start of the New year’s momentum wave any more.  Now, I meditate on the challenge ahead, lay out step by step and then execute.  Well,  I wish you all Happy Holidays and much success with your goal setting and look forward to the future success stories!    

Best Free Goal Setting Worksheets               https://www.developgoodhabits.com/goal-setting-worksheet/

47 Goal Setting Exercises, Tools, & Games (Incl. PDF Worksheets)     https://positivepsychology.com/goal-setting-exercises/

11 Goal-Setting Apps That Will Help Keep You On Track                                     https://www.bustle.com/p/11-goal-setting-apps-that-will-help-keep-you-on-track-12961869

It Takes A Village: Using The Wraparound Care Model

Community, Health, Personal

BY: James E Corbin II

Photo by; Zack Vessel

Early November 2019, I had the opportunity of attending an interesting seminar/ training on the U of I campus involving wraparound -care teams, for which help/assistance maintains a consistent care model for individuals who may need it. This type of care system ensures care remains constant during a challenging moment that the individual may routinely experience as a result of their physical or mental challenges.

As an individual who is physical challenged, I can understand the need to have a system such as a wraparound -care system like this in place. I experienced this need to have a handful of helpful individuals around me when I was living in locations too far for immediate family members to reach if necessary. The concept is based on being a contributor to a needs a “circle” and not just looking for what a person can receive.  The goal for a good wrap-around care system consisting of a relationship steep in reciprocity, not dependency.  Here allow me to explain why I found this care method to be beneficial.

Since 2014, I have lived in locations that were far away from immediate family and friends. In short, I was pretty much on my own, believe me, it was not something I planned, but it just turned out that way.  Therefore, I had to improvise and develop alternative care assistants who could help in my wellbeing. So, I always kept a keen eye open for positive well-rounded individuals of like mind and cautiously introduced myself.  What I did next was sought out official care givers like doctors, nurses, and CNA and asked them to recommend any support groups or organizations that share similar challenges as myself.

Usually, professional care givers can recommend a few groups or name someone who may know someone with similar issues, and I follow the leads. Also, I used technology like social media (Facebook, Tweeter) and apps like Meetups to connect with other likeminded individuals. Once connected to amicable individuals who share like interest, I attempt to establish a somewhat reciprocal relationship. Usually, this involves making myself available for social outings and more.

 Trust takes some time to build, and it has to be established on both sides as well.  Therefore, the more casual contact I had; the more trust could be established. Soon I would work my way to work out a sort of “quid pro quo” situation and offer my services like occasional running some errands as my way giving back. Connecting with others in the community helped me mange through difficult challenges and maintain a system of steady care. At the time when I was undergoing my redemption of bonding and connecting, I had no name for it and looked at the process as creating a “network of trust,” which I can rely on in times of need. I had no idea I was utilizing many of the principles involved with the wraparound model. I share my experience to demonstrate how beneficial forming a care circle can be.

The old African motto of “It Takes A Village,” is also true to maintain health care. The Wrap Around Care model has its roots within a movement to change the nonfunctional methods of caring for children who suffered from severe mental disorders. It created as a response to what was not working for the children and their families. Whereas before, care was based on what the professional determined to be what was best and not looked at from a holistic perspective regarding values, beliefs, interest, and community concerns.

Also, there was a lack of resources within the community for the family to draw from if necessary. A few decades ago, family services were very scarce in certain communities, and as a result, many children were sent away too far away from facilities where family and community were not present. In contrast, wraparound programs were established to keep the families together and out of expensive group homes while achieving optimal effects.

Wraparound is a value based collaborative partnership program with roots in local imitative such as Kaleidoscope in Chicago. It is a holistic care system designed to put the individual in need at the center of focus. It is a culturally competent, individualized approach that involves incorporating family, friends, associates as well as health care providers, and other individuals within the community to form a care team to assist with comprehensive care. Success increases when the action plan reflects the perspectives of the family members or those who care for the individual. In short, voice and choice drive the process of actionable care.

With the wraparound method, the family or individual who needs service takes the lead in deciding on what type of care system administered. Team members work in unison to organize a set of visions and goals. Team members work together to implement an individual creative plan of action, which they monitor for effectiveness and make changes if necessary.       

The basic ten principles (Burns and Goldman, 1999) of the wraparound model describe what elements must be available for a successful wraparound team.   

  1. Family voice and choice principle involve incorporating family perspectives, which are intentionally prioritized throughout all phases of the wraparound process. This principle ensures that the ones close to the individual have a “say-so” in the long-term care of an individual or family.
  2. A team-based model is a principle consists of family, friends, caregivers involved with the wellness of the individual who needs care. These individuals work through formal and informal service relationships as well as community support activities. A team-based system consists of individuals who have the best interest at heart for the individual seeking care.
  3. Natural support entails team members be extrapolated from the individual’s environment. The wraparound delivery method is a team-based effort. The action plan should reflect the natural sources involved in the care process. These sources can include family, friends, neighbors, co-workers, support members, and more.  Usually, these different relationships bring value by incorporating a diversity of skill sets and other perspectives on the care process.  
  4. Collaboration efforts involve each team member work toward the successful implementation of the effective work plan. Again, the plan should reflect a conglomerate of team member efforts, mandates as well as resources. Each team member shares the responsibility of developing, implementing and monitoring the wraparound plan and make the necessary changes if needed. The team must be committed to the overall goals
  5. Community based principle involves the family, and active community life is a key factor in the wellbeing of the individual receiving the intended care. Services and support strategies should be implemented within an accessible environment, and Inclusive environments help to promote integration into the home and community. Providing an accessible environment ensures that individuals receiving care should be able to access a full range of local services offered within the environment the individual lives. These activities should support positive development for the individual.
  6. Culturally competent, meaning that values, beliefs, and cultural awareness must be present in a functional wraparound model. Team members must be aligned with cultural values and respect them to have successful collaboration, ensuring that team goals and expectations are achieved.
  7. Individualize is based on each plan; strategies, support, and services are customized to ft the personal individual’s needs. Each plan is a series of tailored activities that reflects the family and care givers’ concepts of what care should methods need to be enacted, in addition to what are the most beneficial ending results for the individual. It entails heritage, traditions, and values as a source of strength to be built upon and added to the plan as an undergird structure for advancement.
  8. Strength based means that the wraparound plan should help to build strength and competence to the team and individual alike. The team commitment to achieving goals must persist even when adverse situations arise. In the planning process, viewing failures are as learning moments for the team and individual to build and grow is extremely empowering.  
  9. The unconditional principle means when faced with a compromising situation, the wraparound team still accepts the induvial regardless of any setbacks. The objective is to stay the course of the plan until the wraparound plan is not needed or must be modified to meet new demands. Revisions are performed regularly until positive desired effects are acquired.
  10.  Outcome-based involves benchmarks, or measurements must be in place to identify progress or set-backs.  Using metrics and tools to measure outcomes raises the rate of the successful care system to be in place. Setting goals is fine, but steps to acquire the goals must be acknowledged.

My personal opinion about the wraparound care system is one of admiration because the focus is on establishing functional relationships that help build key elements such as strength and independence. As a physically challenged individual who celebrates his independence, I think this system is a great tool to put in place so that I can maintain my current lifestyle. As I stated earlier, in can be put in place no matter what’s my location. Using a system like this takes care, planning, correctly assessing all available resources, as well as some legal restrictions. But most importantly is that its achievable when done correctly.

Remember, the key to developing a viable wraparound care system involves researched based drivers that focuses on providing optimal human care for the individual or family. If you or someone you know wish to get started using a wraparound care system, there are plenty of places to find help with outlining a care plan. The best place to start is with your professional care giver and the follow up with organizations like the National Wraparound Implementation Center (NWIC), which should be able to assist in locating other resources. Also, I provided a like below to a guide that you can share with your team and go over some of the basics. Remember, it takes a village mindset for this to be successful!

The National Wraparound Implementation Center https://www.nwic.org/

 The Wraparound Process Users Guide https://nwi.pdx.edu/pdf/Wraparound_Family_Guide09-2010.pdf