Category Archives: Inspirational

Quitters Never Win! Whats Makes Folks Just Give Up.

Photo by: Kal Visuals -Unsplash

By: James Corbin II

More than two months had passed since the beginning of the new year, which is when millions of individuals participated in the subsequent ritual of proclaiming some sort resolution which includes making a significant change that they wish to see come into fruition.  A usual resolution decision entails making a specifc betterment to life style, health, prosperity or new assessments.

Well, in any case, under taking a betterment of change extracts an enormous toll involving effort, energy, and focus, which many individuals just don’t have to give in a rush -rush society which we find ourselves in today. So, quietly our dream of change begins to dissipate into just another attempt at reform and nothing to show for the effort.

The question remains, what happened to the vison of change? Why did you give up and not keep pursuing the difference until it came about? The problem with attempting to undergo your challenge later means that later may never take place. So, you just give up on your dream(s) of change instead. It or not, some steps can be taken to avoid the dilemma of not completing the task.

If you ask a million individuals why they gave up and didn’t pursue their dreams, you would probably have a million different answers, but the fact remains most solutions fall into a slim picking of categories that can be easily examined once identified—then modified and reinstated to gain new momentum into pursuing your goals toward personal betterment.     

 Giving up on something usually begins in mind due to a lack of interest or directly over excerptions. Often when we start these ideas to bring about change, we fail to recognize the time and the energy necessary to bring about a recognizable difference. Also, if we fail to put benchmarks in place, there’s no way actually to measure our success.  Therefore, it appears as if we are in the exact position before we decided to undergo the challenge.

Whatever the reason for quitting, whether from over working, a loss of interest, or attempting to find a less complicated way to continue. The point is, you simply gave up trying to meet your goal, and now that “thing -to -do” will hang over your head slowly wearing down your subconsciousness as a nagging voice in your mind.  Some of the usual reasons for quitting can include the following: 

  • Lack of discipline or focus
  • Unnoticing improvements
  • Not sure on how to move forward aka plateauing
  • No support or absence of a good peer group to keep you on track
  • Self-doubt
  • Lack of momentum

Whichever of the above reasons chosen for quitting it all surmise to one thing, giving up! But, as the saying goes, quitters never win, and winners never quit! The key word is never because how can somebody win if they never complete the task. This why in some cases quitting certain cases quitting should never be an option but instead a last resort until the time is right again to proceed.  The top 3 Reasons why quitting should not be an option consist of the following:  

Reason 1.  Quitting can quickly become a learned behavior.

Our brains operate off a reward-based learning system, which involves a triggering process. This triggering process is a direct result of a survival mechanism instilled in our minds to function with little to no thought.  Once behavior sets in subconsciously, it becomes habit forming and unconsciously viewed as an alternative when difficulties set in. That’s why not completing a difficult task and quitting can become more of a crutch crippling an individual’s success rate weakening the resiliency of the mind.

Reason 2.  Quitting blocks all alterative outcomes and experiences.

Sometimes having a critical eye from the outside can allow some powerful insight that may have been overlooked or went unnoticed. Quitting cuts off insightful experiences that contribute to self-growth and development that can be used in other areas. 

Reason 3. Quitting destroys self-confidence.

                When you are achieving the goal(s) no matter how small they are, reaching goals can become exhilarating and even liberating but none of these things can be experienced when quitting is involved.  Self-confidence is built from winning and applying what you learned correctly. When you stop, you cannot grow from the momentum of success.

 We can use each of these control triggers to help form new habits circumventing the action of not continuing.  A few practical steps to take to when you feel just feel as if you can’t go on or just losing interest are:

  1. Revisit the reason why you choose to take on such goals. We tend to forget our reason for wanting to set out to make a specific change. Complacancy is mental and spiritual quick sand, and it becomes the norm in many cases invoved with giving up. One way of not falling into the trap of being complacient is to revist the reason why you wish to see such a change. For example, go back to the orginal motivations for change and reapeat them each day until they become second nature.  
  • Find a more rewarding way to obtain tangible smaller goals – Gaining momentum is critical to achieving new levels. Recharging the process of personal change consists of baby-steps, instead of big leaps and bounds. The idea is to create a snowball effect of rolling down a hill, gainging more mass and momentum to push through any barriers. Soon the process begins to take a life of its own.  Also, benchmarking auspicious areas when reached and celebrate gains to gain more momentum.   
  • Find a support group or a mentor –  Raeching out to professional mentors who had success doing what you wish to achieve can eliminate a lot of guess work and save a hord of time as well as energy. A good mentor can encourage you to keep going until all objectives are obtained; having someone that completed identical steps can be very assuring. Also, sometimes, just finding someone who’s going through a similar challenge can be very supportive. That’s part of the benefit of finding a support group to work with you during he trial.
  • Learn how to practice patience- My grandmother would say that Rome wasn’t built in a day!” meaning that big things take time to make, so don’t look for something sophisticated to be toatally put in place through overnight.  Paitienece, aswell as persistence, is a verture. In the long run, you will be successful. E.g. The turtle verse the hare fable was an excellent example of this concept at work.

To summarize, the takeaway from this piece is that 80% of winning involves merely showing up. Therefore,  winning or being successful does not include giving up or quitting. The idea is to keep pushng forward until you reach the desired outcome. Allowing the temptation of giving up to seep in only means that you have lost focus or desire to undergo the change you once invisioned. 

Manifesting change requires the correct input of energy as well as dedication.  Most of all, change requires some planning outlining the best path to take when undergoing a super set of tasks. It should also include benchmarks to help identify goals and objectives when reached, and most importantly, a celebration when these objectives have been completed. I genuinely hope these guidelines will keep you on track for success, and giving up or quitting is eliminated from your lexicon.  

The Big Move- Managing Stressful Events

Moving is a very stressful act to perform, and planning a move to a different state and city can be somewhat arduous especially for a differently- abled person such as myself.  The task of moving could be extremely taxing and rewarding at the same time.   Relocating with a disability means uprooting and trying to reestablish a routine in order to function normally.   Routines such as; working out, diet, eating schedules, sleeping patterns and the most critical, bathroom schedules. Yes, my whole world is turned top-side over when it’s moving time. Just about everything in my somewhat normal life is interrupted and has to be refigured in its entirety. As you can see the event of moving can be extremely stressful in its totality. How I prepare for such a change is by becoming proactive toward the situation and be sure not to procrastinate. I also prepare myself mentally by meditating on steps that I need to execute in order to be effective. I began preparing by having necessary items set aside for the duration of the move. I do all this prepping in order to keep cortisol (stress hormone) levels low because once they are in high levels in the body, the mind becomes frustrated and functions poorly. The importance of controlling stress in our lives is critical and I felt that the issues of stress should be further elaborated on in order to get a more define understanding of the matter.  That’s why I plan on dedicating these next few post on the topic of stress regulating in our lives.                       .

What is stress? To put it simply stress is the body’s way of responding to strenuous mandates (Mills, et al., 2015). Stress is the primary factor for the six leading causes of death; heart disease, cancer, lung ailments, accidents, cirrhosis of the liver and suicide. Therefore I thought it would be a great time to address it and understand what stress is in order to lessen the effects it has upon the body. Believe it or not, all stress isn’t bad for you. In fact the good stress (Eustress) can help build a stronger body, mind and, spirit. Whereas bad stress (Distress) can have a negative effect on the body, mind, and spirit. But how do you know the difference between good stress and bad stress? A few excellent examples of good stress (Eustress) factors and bad (distress) stress factors consists of the following:

Good (Eustress stress);

  • Moving to a new location
  • Marriage
  • Buying a new home
  • Learning a new hobby
  • Furthering education
  • Taking a vacation
  • Starting a new job

Bad (Distress) stress;

  • Being evicted / forced to move
  • Death of a close relative or friend
  • Divorce / break-up
  • Bankruptcy / Money issues
  • Legal Problems
  • Injury / Illness
  • Unemployment                                                     Stress-Curve image

Common internally caused sources of distress include:

  • “Fears: (e.g., fears of flying, heights, public speaking, chatting with strangers at a party)
  • Repetitive Thought Patterns:

“Worrying about future events (e.g., waiting for medical test results or job      restructuring).   Unrealistic, perfectionist expectations (Mills et al., 2015).”

In short stress can either make us or break us. The difference is whether we have control over the stressing factor or does it commands us. Also it how it is perceived by the individual expecting the stressful event. Or how we allow it to be determined. The effects of good stress can help build excitement, focuses energy and improve performance. Whereas the long term effects of bad (distress) can have detrimental effects on the body and in extended instances may even cause death. By planning ahead I’ve learned how to manage stress. Only when I procrastinate is when stress seems to have a negative effect on my body. Personally I see this move as something exciting and new, almost as if I was on a voyage to discover a new world. Offering new opportunity to expand and create. In a sense I embrace the challenge of change and look forward to new experiences in a new location. In the end life is all about growth and managing stress is key to growing proficiently.

J. E. Corbin

References:

Mills, H., Reiss, N., Donbeck, M., (2015) Types of Stressors (Eustress vs. Distress)                 Retrieved from; http://www.sevencounties.org/poc/view_doc.

Alvin Laws Differently-Able

In early March, 2015 I had a chance to attend a National Speaker Association presentation in Dallas, TX with a unique human being, Mr. Alvin Laws. What makes him unique is how he does not allow his differently-able abilities to define him or limit his capacities and lifestyle. You see Alvin’s disability was a result of a drug called thalidomide and the children of the mothers who took this drug were born with all sort of defects. In Alvin’s case he was born without any arms and as a consequence he had to survive in a world which had deemed him a pariah with a hopeless future.

He tells a riveting story about the difficulties he faced in his life being born without any arms. The challenges he faced existing in a world were arms and hands were necessary to survive, but somehow he manage to train his brain to find an alternative way to complete everyday task. Being giving up for adoption at birth, Alvin’s foster-mom Hilda, realized at early infancy his ability to adapt when she looked in and witnessed Alvin holding his baby bottle using only his feet. In amazement she called to her husband to witness this extraordinary feat (pun attended lol). His mom never allowed him to feel sorry for himself and assigned him daily choirs ranging from vacuuming to washing the dishes—with his feet!I was proud to give him a true “sole-Brother” hand shake at the end of his presentation.

Today Alvin does everything for himself from dressing to driving an automobile he does not allow anything to hold him back.  Alvin takes doing things a step further by being able to play musical instruments such as the trombone, drums, and keyboard—-with his feet! He executes an impressive drum roll that any average drummer with two arms would find it very difficult to do. And his keyboarding skills are equivalent to a cool jazz player in a smoky jazz joint in Harlem, NY. His presence just goes to show us that the human mind combined with will and faith can reach many heights.

Although we are amazed when an individual such as Alvin comes along and astonishes us with what seems impossible, he only reminds us of qualities which formulate us as human beings like creativity and determination. [W]e are some of the frailest creatures on the planet physically, but our cunningness and resourcefulness sets us apart in the animal kingdom. People like Alvin Law reminds us that just about all obstacles we encounter can be altered or adapted in alternative ways. And that ingenuity with determination can make the impossible, very possible. Alvin Law truly embodies the concept of being differently-able.

Thanks Alvin for sharing your energy/spirit, from one Sole-Brother to another keep doing you’re your doing…….raising the consciousness!

Change

J. E. Corbin